It is impossible to avoid conflict in human relationships, on the job, at home or in social situations. Destructive arguments and productive discussions differ primarily in the way in which we handle disagreements. Instead of fearing and/or winning conflict through clever means, try to shift the way you respond to these challenging moments as opportunities for deeper understanding and stronger connections. There is no template for how to resolve a conflict, but you can find your way with some measure of skill, some degree of patience, some honor for the republic we care for.
Perceiving the Cause of Conflict
The majority of conflicts arise because there are unfulfilled needs, differing viewpoints, misunderstandings, not outright fundamental incompatibility. When the parties feel heard and understood, even difficult dialogues can be productive. One is taking stock of what each party truly wants, not just what they are demanding on the surface.
Emotions often widen conflicts beyond their scope. Some folks can get heated about the meeting schedule when what they’re really saying is that no one appreciates them or that they took on more than they can handle. Just as handicapping PBA Odds entails looking into aspects beyond surface statistics in team dynamics and motivations of players, conflict resolution is going deeper than the apparent misunderstanding between them, but to the extent of revealing underlying issues.
Conflict Resolution Skills and Tips
There are several proven strategies for converting emery situations into collaborative problem-solving:
- Active listening: Pay full attention to what the other person is saying, instead of formulating your response
- Use “I” statements: Make your needs and feelings known without attacking or blaming the other person
- Work on common goals: Find goals or values that both parties can agree on
- Agree to disagree: It’s OK to simply not agree-the trick is to respectfully disagree
- Take a break if things get heated: If a discussion begins to feel heated, take a step back and cool down before moving forward
- Focus on behavior: When discussing an issue, talk about specific behaviors instead of attacking character
When these discussions take place is crucial. Trying to resolve a furor in the heat of the moment typically doesn’t work and waiting too long fosters resentments.
Let’s Build Some Communication Bridges
Resolving conflict well means moving from a competitive to a cooperative stance. Rather than attempting to prove each other right, find solutions that meet everyone’s fundamental needs. This can require people to be creatively resourceful or willing to compromise.
Ask open-ended questions that lead to further analysis of the problems. Questions such as “Help me understand why this is important to you” or “What would have to happen to make you feel comfortable with this solution?” open new paths to understanding that were invisible before.
Wrapping Up
The ability to resolve conflict is an acquired skill that becomes better with time and patience. If we can treat disagreements as learning experiences instead of fights to be won or lost, we may create better ideas, better relationships, and better ways of getting things done. Not to never, ever have a conflict, but to figure out how to manage them when they emerge. Keep in mind that finding solutions generally requires a long-term approach and more than one talk, but working on your own communication will yield dividends in all aspects of your life.
